Whilst most people would be satisfied that standing against Diane Abbott in Hackney North was a big enough accolade, one man sets to top that by gathering votes to be the next Chairperson of Oxford University. As a former student, Heart London read his election statement and as follows, his mission seems clear…
It says:
‘My name is Ryan Ahmad and most recently I stood as an independent at the General Election in solidarity with Diane Abbott in Hackney North. I have worked with hundreds of world leaders, prime ministers, celebrities, captains of industry and billionaires; I have so many stories to tell, including that I personally located Osama Bin Laden to Pakistan, though not the precise location.I have got a taste for elections, so I am now putting myself forward as the future Chancellor of Oxford University, having studied PPE there at St Edmunds College. My YouTube is @ryan4labour – and there’s no doubt that I’ve got some dynamite tales to tell.
Below is my statement to students of Oxford…
Hey guys, I’ve been enjoying democracy so much that I thought I’d run in another election. I need 50 nominations from former students of Oxford University to run as Chancellor of Oxford University. Apparently, you have to demonstrate both outstanding achievements in your field and the ability to command respect beyond it, as well as a deep appreciation for the University’s research and academic mission and its global community.
I studied PPE and came to PM Blair’s attention who appointed me as his aide de camp. I had extensive contact with cabinet ministers, senior civil servants, military and intelligence chiefs, world leaders, billionaires, I literally met a hundred of the world’s most powerful people and another hundred most famous celebrities.
But things haven’t always been glamorous for me. In fact, I went on to have a major mental health breakdown. I was sectioned and over the next twelve years spent well over a year in mental hospitals in total, with multiple incarcerations in various psychiatric wards. I experienced crisis and isolation. I was also homeless on two occasions in my life, and spent about four months on the streets of central London including Christmas.
Despite these challenges, I enjoy community activism, especially on environment, mental health, homelessness, loneliness and hardship. I made the decision to bring the Olympics to London (Tony wanted the World Cup). I am likely deserving of the US Freedom Medal twice over: first for advising George Bush to gain worldwide assent for military activities from the UN (he was on the plane the very next day), and secondly for personally locating Osama Bin Laden to Pakistan. I was rewarded with temporary command of the Transatlantic Alliance.
Despite the serious nature of previous work, I am incredibly open about many aspects of my life, as I demonstrated while running as an Independent Candidate in the recent General Election.
Most importantly, I have extensive experience of the Affairs of State that the vast majority of MPs can only grasp at. I had loads of influence contributing to policy. I have worked with all of the frontier technologies that can improve public services like the NHS. World leaders and foreign policy? I’ve met them and practised it. Additionally, I understand capitalism and wealth.
A vote for me is a vote for a uniquely powerful level of competence and experience at the leadership level of our University.’
Needless to say, that come this October – votes will be hopefully going this way and Ryan Ahmad is the name to watch out for.
